I've really sucked at writing about life lately. So here we go : life.
I'm super pumped! Why? Because I'm taking a rather large step for myself today. I called a company to ask/talk about their processing procedures with their food products to see if their products would be something my family & I can have (that's usually mums job - but not today!). I did all the research for this company and their products, I prayed about it, aaaand I'm going to try some of their stuff. Tonight. What am I trying? Dairy-free ice cream. What flavor is it? Chocolate. Guys, I haven't had chocolate in 4 (FOUR) years. I'm kind of flippin' stoked for this right now. Here's what I'm also super stoked for. I'm going into this expecting to have a reaction. Not because the company isn't thorough (I'm rather impressed by how thorough they are, and by how aware they seem to be. Like, really, really impressed), but because of how sensitive I am because of the damage that was done, and a slightly cynical outlook because of not being able to have such things for so long, it's just sort of what I'm expecting. However, if I do have a reaction, it would be low-level, because of how thorough the company is. Why am I stoked for this than? For once, when it comes to food, I'm willing to go for it and take a chance - even with the mindset that I'll have a reaction. It may not seem like much, but this is a huge deal for me and all my little fear issues that I've been working on. Reactions terrify me. How they make me feel, and what they do to me . . . it's just no bueno. BUT, I'm oozing joy right now for the fact that God has taken my fearful, stubborn little heart, and has softened it and strengthened it with trust enough to do this. Plus . . . I GET CHOCOLATE! Maybe for the last time. Idk. Just another wee little step forward on this crazy journey that God has me on. To quote What About Bob?, "Baby steps. Baby steps. Baby steps through the office. . . Baby steps out the door. . . It works. All I have to do is take one little baby step at a time, and I can do anything." Baby steps, people, baby steps. Thank you, Lord, for your ridiculous amount of patience. And chocolate! Thank you for the opportunity to eat chocolate again.
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November 2016
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