Soundtracks. Music specifically tailored to illustrate a moment, enhance a feeling, and better tell a story. I personally love them - especially if Hans Zimmer, Howard Shore, or John Williams have anything to do with them. You can tell a lot about a person by the music that impacts them. We all have those songs that speak the perfect words for us, describe us accurately, or just have a powerful influence in our lives. This is something that's been on my mind for quite a while now, actually. I've just been too lazy or busy to do anything about it haha. Thank you, snow day, for providing the perfect opportunity. Though what I'm going to share with you will probably be entertaining at times, it's also quite personal. While I'm not really a musical person, music has had a big impact in my life - which I'm pretty sure goes for most people. There are many songs that I hold very dear to my heart for a variety of reasons, some of which pertaining to spiritual warfare, some to matters of the heart, some to experiences, some to the crazy in me, and some to just life as a whole. A lot of these are probably going to be just parts of songs rather than the whole entire song. Some of these songs I feel I can connect with deeply, but have the fear that if others knew that, they wouldn't understand and would ridicule me for it. But you know what? That's silly. Honestly, I don't think most people are going to be able to understand why some of these songs I hold so dearly, and that's okay. I feel like I'm getting a little nudge to post these as the next step in becoming truly transparent and vulnerable with people. And who knows, maybe you'll find a song you like or can relate to in the process. Win! Since I have far too many songs for one post, I'm going to break them up, hopefully into categories if I can. And since this is the first of many, and I have all that explanation going on up there, I'm just going to share one song with you. One of the ones I hold closest to my heart. Even If by KutlessThis song is so important to me because it speaks what's on my heart in regards to my physical/health conditions PERFECTLY. "Even if the healing doesn't come, life falls apart, and dreams are still undone, you are God, you are good; forever faithful One. Even if the healing, even if the healing doesn't come". Several people have told me that I should pray for healing of my physical pain and food sensitivities. To which, outwardly, I reply with a smile. In my head, however, I'm like, "My health, comfort, convenience, and biggest passion got taken away from me - do you REALLY think I haven't prayed for healing?!" But there really isn't any reason to respond to anybody like that. The point is: I have prayed. Ohhhh I have prayed . . . I want to be able to drink Mountain Dew and eat German chocolate cake again. I want to be able to go on spontaneous adventures without having to be held back by food. I want to be able to run again. I want to be able to dance as I used to again - I want that so, SO badly. I have prayed, and prayed, and prayed, and when I was finally ready to hear it, I got my response. "This is where I have you right now." God has every capability of healing me - there's no doubt in my mind that He can heal me. But that's not what He has for me. At least not now. "Lord, we know your ways are not our ways, so we set our faith in who You are" God has done so much growth and healing in me through my food sensitivities and physical conditions, and He has brought me to a place where I am genuinely grateful for them; for what they have produced. He had/has a plan in all that I've been through in regards to health and pain, even if I don't understand what it is - I still trust Him. This song is an outpour of that for me. It brings me to tears nearly every time I sing it; tears of loss and of faith. I trust Him no matter what. And sometimes, it hurts. "9 Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.' So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 You wanna know what goes through my mind when I hear the chorus? "Even if there's no release from this, and I can't do what I've always been able to do, and I'll never be able to dance again as I once did, you are still God, you are still good, you are faithful and I trust you, even if you don't take this away from me" Sometimes all we have to hold on to Is what we know is true of who You are So when the heartache hits like a hurricane That could never change who You are And we trust in who You are Even if the healing doesn’t come And life falls apart And dreams are still undone You are God You are good Forever faithful One Even if the healing Even if the healing doesn’t come Lord we know Your ways are not our ways So we set our faith in who You are Even though You reign high above us You tenderly love us We know Your heart And we rest in who You are Even if the healing doesn’t come And life falls apart And dreams are still undone You are God You are good Forever faithful One Even if the healing Even if the healing doesn’t come You’re still the Great and Mighty One We trust You always You’re working all things for our good We’ll sing your praise Even if the healing doesn’t come And life falls apart And dreams are still undone You are God You are good Forever faithful One Even if the healing Even if the healing doesn’t come You are God and we will bless You As the Good and Faithful One You are God and we will bless You Even if the healing doesn’t come Even if the healing doesn’t come God is good, people.
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November 2016
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