This is something we need to talk about. I keep seeing these movements of positive body image (particularly for women) going around. I see videos and read articles of women talking negatively about their bodies and thinking, "Are you crazy? How can you not see how pretty you are? How can you not see yourself in a positive light?". It breaks my heart to see and hear of so many women who look down upon their bodies and their appearances. And then I realize that I'm no different.
I recently watched a video of a woman who wanted to be a positive example for her young daughter. She wanted to show her daughter how to love her body. So she entered a body building competition. She worked hard and at the end she was declared as having the perfect body. Later she said that even with that "perfect" body, she didn't feel any different about herself. I find that understandable, and yet hard to swallow. We all do it, I think. The comparison game. Some compare their bodies to other people, and for some of us, we compare our bodies to how they used to look. This woman who entered the body building contest and was declared to have the perfect body posted a before & after picture online several months later. We've all seen them, the pictures showing the transformation of oneself from ashamed to proud. But this one was a before picture of her as a body builder, and an after picture of her with more weight on her body. And it went viral, because it was a picture of a woman who felt beautiful in her own skin without all of the shed weight off of it. I struggled with this. I'm empathetic, so I often put myself in the shoes of another person. And you know what? I can't imagine feeling that good about myself with more weight on me. I see the beauty of others, in all of their various races, gender, and weight, but when it comes to myself, I can't get past thinking negatively about one small, stupid area: my tummy. Isn't that how it goes? We see the beauty in those around us and can't comprehend how they can't, and then we turn around and are unable to look past the negatives that we see in our own self. It hurts my heart that this is such a thing. It also hurts my heart that our natural reaction to some peoples insecurities is to shame them. I don't think that it's intentional. If anything, it's more like our own insecurities reacting to theirs. I grew up skinny. I had a high metabolism, and a flat stomach. Then I started dancing, and I not only had a flat stomach, but a toned one as well. Then my body got wrecked and I was no longer able to exercise. My metabolism slowed down over the years, and now, due to health reasons, I am almost constantly bloated. I began seeing myself differently due to these changes, and whenever the subject arose and I made a comment about it, I was frequently shut down. "You're crazy!" "You're not allowed to say that!" "Don't be dumb." Though they were intended for support, many of them ended up hurting instead. I don't think many people realize the inward struggle that many thin people have. We have insecurities too. We just aren't taken seriously when we confess them. I know I've done it to others, and I'm sorry if I've done it to you. So what do we do then? How do we encourage those around us who struggle with weight issues and self-image? And how do we ourselves overcome this fast sold lie? I've wondered this so many times, and I know I don't have the answer that will solve it. But a thought kept coming to mind. What if we stop trying to perfect ourselves, and instead love ourselves? What if we stopped beating our bodies into shape with exercise, and instead nurture and invigorate our bodies with exercise? What if we stopped portion controlling and dieting for a more envious body, and instead ate healthier and dieted in order to make our bodies more healthy, so they can do what they were created to do better? But really, what it's going to take is just a new mindset. Which is where I struggle. How do you do that? How do you suddenly start seeing your body as beautiful when you've hated it for so long? You don't. You don't just suddenly develop a new way of thinking. You work at it. You work HARD at it. Capturing every negative thought and bringing it before God and asking HIM what He thinks about it. And about you. This isn't just about being or feeling fat. Because you know what, some people are fat. That's just fact. This is about feeling ugly, inadequate, hopeless, and whatever other lie we attach to that word fat. Or overweight. Or pudgy. Or whatever else you want to call it. That's really what this is about isn't it? It's not about being fat or not fat, it's about our self-worth. And what better lie to tell us that we're inadequate than how we look? Dumb. So here's the thing. I want to encourage everyone - small, big, short, tall, male, female, young, old - to stop looking at beauty the way society deems it. It's bloody difficult, because it's everywhere. But if we're going to start seeing ourselves and others as beautiful and valuable, then we need to do some serious mind and heartset changes (unless you're already there, and in that case, share it with everyone you know). Start simple, and keep on going. I had a bit of a breakthrough a couple of weeks ago. I was researching a new food product, one that I was hoping to be able to just buy from the store and eat. On their website they had a page explaining why they use the ingredients and products that they do. Long story short, I got excited for this product and eating more raw foods not just because it may help with my bloating, but because it may help my body function better overall. Having more energy to do things, sleeping better, feeling good. And for once the first thing on my mind wasn't, "well maybe this will make me skinnier". There's hope, people. God is good, and He especially doesn't want us to believe the lies of inadequacy and hopelessness that we're fed everyday. The thing that really opened my eyes and broke my heart about all of the self-image struggles that we have was Psalm 139. This chapter is all about God knowing our inmost being, creating us, loving, and delighting in us. Verse 14 says this, "Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it." "How well I know it". Do we really know how marvelous His workmanship - we - are? When we stand in front of the mirror and critique our bodies, are we stopping and thinking about how incredibly complex and intentionally we were created? Do we think about our Creator and how broken He must feel over us judging ourselves so harshly? I know I don't. Or at least, I didn't. I've read this verse over and over again to try and make that stick. When I look at myself, I want to see the unique creation that I am. And I think I'm beginning to. I have good days and bad days, but I'm learning. I want to love my body. I want others to love their bodies. For some that may mean eating differently, for others it may mean exercising more, and others it may mean getting more rest. Not as a means of punishment, but as a means of wellness. I want myself and others to love our bodies not just for how they look, but for how they function. When I sit down and think about my body beyond the aesthetics, I acknowledge its beauty. Going from active, to twisted and in pain, to healing and restoration. From extremely tight muscles and twisted spine, to being able to dance again. My body is resilient. And God has taught me a lot through it. I'm hoping that this will be just another life lesson and bit of wisdom gained in the years to come: skinniness is not beauty; taking care of and loving yourself is. Romans 12:2 "Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
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