No, I'm not getting married. Calm down.
That means you, Luke S. There is a lot of life changes going on up in here, though. Like, a lot. We've got a relationship with a heck of a man that continues to progress; a new position at work that involves my own workspace in the back, complete with desk and computer (on the lookout for an inspirational cat poster, and then my space will be complete!); one of my three coworkers will be leaving us this month, which means my hours have doubled; I'm in transition with communities (which is sad, because I love mine dearly), but I haven't established a place to transition to; along with that, certain ministries are shifting and I'm not sure where to focus my attention when they do; I'm growing and stepping out & speaking up more, putting on my go-getter pants more often and accomplishing things I never invisioned I would; and last, and hardest of all, I'm having to prepare my mind and my heart to not have my little sidekick with me anymore. I probably haven't mentioned her much on here, but I've got a little mini aussie/sheltie mix that has been my best friend and little shadow for about 10 years now. She's been deemed by many the sweetest dog ever, and though I'm biased, it's pretty true. She's almost 16 now, though, and it's not looking good. That's hard for me. She's always been there, from 12 to near 22, through most of the things that have shaped me the most. It's hard watching her wither away with nothing I can do about it . . . Aaaaand here comes the face leakage. I think I've spent close to 3 hours collectively sobbing over the thought of her not being with me anymore. She's my little shadow. It's going to be lonely without her. So much stuff going on, I feel like I might just crumble at times. Lets be real - I DO crumble at times. But there's a certain sweetness to this messy little mayhem I've got going on. It's called growth. And you know how I love it. I like that frustrating and hard things aren't without their benefits, and that disheartening things aren't without their comfort. Life could be far worse than what's going on now. Far worse. And I'm grateful for the resources God has placed in my life to help ease the load. Like His Word. And His promises. And Camaros. And BW. And coloring books. And cats. And my sweet little Lacey while she's here and doing well. Growing up is hard. But God is good.
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Alrighty, guys. It's been way too long. Last week I was reminded of the beauty of transparency and the impact it can have on those around us. This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately, and something that's really been on my heart. And so, with that, I have a challenge for you (and myself). This week, don't pretend you have it all together. Just don't. Having a rough day? Don't grunt and whine about it, but don't put on that happy little smile that we all seem to wear while saying, "I'm doing good, you?" We all seem to do it, both Christians and non-Christians alike. For some of us it's pride and for some of us it's privacy. For me it's often both. But what if everyone just didn't do that? What if we yielded more to a spirit of transparency than a spirit of pride? I'll be honest, I suck at that so much of the time. I really struggle with anxiety, but I don't want to say that because of all that God has taught me and in all the ways that He's grown me, I feel like I should have it together by now. But I don't. I also fall apart at the smallest of things sometimes, and I just can't get it together. And I don't like that - it frustrates me and makes me feel inferior or weak. I can be completely defeated by those things, and I often lose my focus and feel as though I'm drowning. It's something I'm probably going to go into counseling for, and I don't like it. But what if I let others see my struggles more than when it just sounds good? I'm not saying wave my dirty laundry everywhere; just not hiding it. Not being ashamed of the fact that I struggle with certain things. We all do - no one's exempt from that. Some things are private and need to remain private for a variety of reasons, but not all of my struggles and experiences need to be out of sight from the people around me. This is something I'm passionate about. I'm good at being transparent with those that I'm close to. But am I really being transparent with those who I'm not close to? Is what I'm hiding underneath something that someone needs to hear? Think of how just being really real and transparent would affect those around us. Think of how it would affect the CHURCH. Would people feel more comfortable in a place where they could relate to others instead of potentially feeling out of place? Or where they didn't feel like people were being fake with them? I personally feel the most encouraged when people around me can show their struggles and be real with me, because then I feel like I can do the same. I feel like often times, as Christians, we feel the need to seem like we have it all together so that we can be a witness to those around us. I've felt that way before. But that's just silly, isn't it? Mark 13:34-35 says it well, I think. "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” He (that was Jesus talking, btw) doesn't say, "Your perfection will prove to the world that you are my disciples." He says our love will. I've found that one of the best ways to love people is to be real with them; sharing not only their struggles, but showing them that I struggle, too. So, whaddya say? Want to take on this challenge with me? "Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." Philippians 2:3-4 |
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