Growing up in the church, hearing about Christ’s death on the cross became almost background noise. It was something that I took for granted, as it was always just there. A constant pillar of the basics of our faith. It was something I focused my attention on once a year when Easter rolled around, and thought about sparsely throughout the rest of the year. Having now felt the weight of what His sacrifice on the cross did for us - for me - I am undone.
He was betrayed by a close friend. He was treated like a criminal. He was humiliated. He was shamed. He was beaten. He was tortured. He was exhausted. He was alone. He took on the weight of our collected sin - our shame, our abuse, our anger, our fear, our guilt. And He faced separation from God in the end. And what’s more, He doesn’t expect us to repay Him. He knows there’s no way we ever could. This isn’t a holding-over-the-head situation. This is an open invitation to freedom and forgiveness for all of us. How often do we stop to remember this? How often do we think about all that He gave us? He suffered more pain than I have ever known in order for me to be in His presence. That I may be free from religious law. That I may receive the hope and the freedom and the joy that His presence brings. That I would no longer be separated from Him. The thought of all that He endured for the sake of me is simply too much. I’m overwhelmed by it. I’m flooded with the memories and images of countless panic attacks, demonic encounters, depression, unrelenting anxiety, and pure desperation. I’m reminded of what life was like before draping God’s forgiveness and comfort over me like a robe. I’ve known of God my whole life. I apparently received Him when I was four. Then again sometime around six because I wanted the angels to throw a party in Heaven when I received Jesus into my heart again (little Lew was always here for a celebration). But it wasn’t until the Summer heading into Freshman year of high school that I think I really began to know and experience first-hand His character. And then the Summer after graduating high school is when everything came to a head, and He became my lifeline and my deepest love. I’m reminded of His sacrifice on the cross often, it no longer being a sparse thought. God rescued me at my lowest point and gave me new life, and continues to do so every day. It makes my chest ache remembering that I almost ended my life, and that He’s the only reason I'm still here. His sacrifice gave me life in so many ways. This all started at the cross. I’m sad to say that my focus has wavered over the years and I haven’t given my deepest love the attention and devotion I once did. It makes me sad to think of all I’ve missed out on because of that, and that I am so easily distracted from the One who has given me life. And yet, there is still so much grace, and love, and kindness. Taking the time to sit with God and process and write again is like cool water pouring over my head on a hot day. Or finally being able to intake a lungs-worth of breath. It’s refreshing. It awakens my senses and makes me feel like I’m living again. I feel the most myself when I’m with God, and that makes me smile. Because that’s always been the case, and I believe it always will be. No matter how distracted I allow myself to become, or how easily I may forget to seek Him, or even how long I may ignore His gentle call. He is always here. He is always waiting. He is always patient. And He is always tenderly joyful when I step back into His arms. Friends, our God is a God of hope. He is a God of fulfillment, and presence, and forgiveness, and joy, and light. Our God is a God of life.
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Becoming.
noun: the process of coming to be something I think, for some of us, the idea of becoming our true selves is frightening because it requires us to not only let our carefully constructed walls down, but also stand in complete submission as we allow God to strip away our defenses and excuses, and allow Him to make us new. It requires trust, it requires humility, it requires courage. For some, this isn’t an issue. But for us deeply sensitive souls who learned at a young age that hiding grants safety, it’s hard. It feels exposing, and unsafe, and maybe even a little wild. We are more easily seen, more easily judged and scrutinized without the warmth and protection of our defenses we have crafted. I’ve never been one to jump into a crowd and do as they do. I’ve always been my own self, and, for the most part, have felt pretty comfortable in that. I’m a little offbeat, as we all are in some way, but I’ve always embraced those pieces of myself. What I have a hard time embracing is the thought of being fully seen. It feels sad to me now, as I was once well practiced in being open and vulnerable. Over the last few years I’ve slipped into a rather animated version of myself; not easily being able to show depth or vulnerability. In the process of trying to shut down any feelings of being unsafe, I shut down the ability to really let others in, including God. I felt really seen for the first time in a long time the other day, and while it was encouraging and life-giving in the moment, I later found myself feeling increasingly uneasy about it. It felt unsafe and exposing, being seen. There was nothing to hide behind or deflect with. And yet, I was safe. More than safe, I was still loved. Honestly, in writing this I’m realizing juuuust how damaged I may be. But that’s okay. I’ve seen firsthand the restorative works of my God, and I’m here for it. Embracing it, you might say. I think I’m finally coming back to a place where I can settle into a quieter version of myself; one where laughter doesn’t have to be on my lips at all times and I don’t need my confidence to be seen. One where I don’t need to appease everyone I meet in order to feel safe and disagreement with others doesn’t mean I’m wrong. One where I don’t need to be heard in order to have a strong voice. One where I can be seen and still be safe. Not a self made by my own effort, but one where I’m finally just allowing God to do what He does best: love and restore. I think for a while now I’ve tried to place my security in my spouse rather than in God, as he hasn’t actively been inviting me to places that feel overwhelming and scary in order to grow. Logically, I know this isn’t a good idea. And for anyone else reading this who needs that reminder: it’s not a good idea. It’s not fair to your spouse (sorry, Jon), and it’s not fair to you. But God remains patient & kind, and has just been here, waiting for me to fully open up to Him again. Seven years ago God spoke clearly to me. It doesn’t happen terribly often, so I pay attention when it does. “Your strength is in your grace”. It came out of nowhere as I stood in our kitchen at our previous house. I scrambled to write it down on a post-it note and it’s been in my head ever since, repeating as I continue through life. For years I’ve wrestled between the fiery and gentle parts of myself. I’m learning more about how I can be both, and where the fiery doesn’t need to be a defense but just a fact. I want to walk forward in the quiet strength that God has cultivated over the years, and is continuing to cultivate. I want to be known not just for my spunk, but for the gentleness that God has given me. That all takes practice. I think this is a part of it. So here’s my documentation of this process posted on the internet. Not for recognition - because, again, still not quite keen on being seen - but because it forces me out of my bubble of safety, and allows me to practice this newfound grit, to live my life without allowing fear of what others may think hold me back. And who knows, maybe someone else needs this reminder too. Press into the precious ways God has created you, friend. Seek His heart for those things. It results in life. Lew // 1 Peter 3:4 // I hit a low point the other night.
Those of you who have been around a while know I struggle with some low-level depression and anxiety. I also tend to fixate on things. Whether from undiagnosed OCD or just an obsessive personality, I don’t know. But it happens. And when that and depression intermingle, things spiral quickly. The next night, as I was laying in bed, I was looking at baby name meanings on my phone (not for us - calm down). I thought of what my name means. Put together, my first and middle name basically means “warrior dedicated to God”. And I thought, “Lord, I do not feel like a warrior”. I used to, but haven’t for some time. And God very clearly, in His kind voice, immediately responded, “Well of course not, you aren’t wearing any of your armor”. … He was right. I haven’t been fighting with what God has given me, but rather with the meager strength of my own dying will and mind. Now don’t get me wrong, in the midst of those spirals I get that our brains change. It’s not the same as when we’re functioning normally. But for any of you out there who struggle with mental health, whether regularly or in slow descent over time, let me remind you - how God reminded me - of how we can help combat these dark times. “A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.” Ephesians 6:10-18 (NLT) Let’s break it down a bit, ‘cause when you’re in the middle of it all, it just seems like a big chunk of words.
So in these dark times may we be reminded of God’s truth, and not get entangled or seduced by the enemy’s lies. May we not slander or tear someone down in our anger or hurt - even in our hearts. May we be soothed by God’s victory and tender love for us. May we trust that He is with us and He is for us. May we put our security in the sacrifice He has already made for us. And may we seek His Word, grasping the finality of the loss of Satan’s power by God’s truth, love, and authority. It is finished. We are not. Keep fighting, friends 💛 I’ve lost my focus on the goodness of God, as its gotten tangled in the midst of mild ongoing depression and loss and lack of community.
But that’s one of the reasons why God is so good. Even those things are not in vain. Whenever people ask how God could be good when there’s so much evil in this world - when children are starving, innocent people are casualties of war, and bad things happen to good people without warning - my response is the truth that God‘s goodness is not dependent on our circumstances. If God simply allowed bad things to happen, and then told us that He would see us on the other side, abandoning us to go through it alone, then I would struggle to believe that God is good. But that’s not what He does. If we allow Him to, He not only walks with us in the deserts and the storms, but He will use what the enemy intended for evil for something beautiful. He is the best example of creating beauty from chaos. And while this is not the only aspect of His goodness, it is one I am constantly reminded of. Recent conversations with a friend have stirred these thoughts back in to mind. My friend struggles with hatred and anger towards his father. He believes it would take a miracle for him to be able to forgive his dad and heal from the bitterness that’s been eating him for the past 20 years. As I pondered what I would say to him if we had a conversation about how God could use those years of anger and newfound restoration through God’s forgiveness, it reminded me of a verse in 2 Corinthians. “…He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT It’s one of my favorite verses. It’s also one of the ways that I see God‘s goodness the most. By going through hard things, we are then able to come alongside others who are going through hard things as well. Sounds trite, right? But there’s nothing trite about empathy. There’s nothing trite about coming alongside someone who is struggling and reminding them that they are not alone. There is power in that. So often the enemy wants to isolate us, telling us that we’re alone and that no one will see or understand us. And in that isolation, there is death. But God sees us. He knows our every struggle, despair, and hopeless moment felt (Psalm 56:8). And often, He sends others to remind us that He sees us. We don’t always get to see how the Lord uses these trials for good. And often times we never will, at least not fully. But I have seen it over and over and over again. God has used so many hard and life altering things in my life to bring me and others closer to Him. I encourage you to ask Him to show you how He’s doing the same in your life. Despite me losing my focus on God‘s goodness recently, that is one of the things I am most passionate about, and I suspect always will be. Because in enduring pain, sexual abuse, PTSD, health issues, depression, anxiety, and so much more, He has given purpose to each of those things. I have seen Him use all of these countless times over for something beautiful, and sometimes life changing. And that my friends, is part of the goodness of God. “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” 1 Corinthians 13:12 NLT “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 NLT A year and a half ago people were posting pictures and reflecting on what happened during the past decade. Ushering in a new decade, it was fun to see the change and growth that happened from 2010-2020 - even though 2020 ended up being a dumpster fire of a year. While it was fun to reflect on that last year, this is the decade that matters more to me - Summer 2011 to Summer 2021. See, the Summer of 2011 I almost killed myself. I won't go into the details, but I will share that I was about one second away from doing so, and the only way I know how to explain it is that Holy Spirit interceded in a big way. Summer 2011 was a dark time for me. Between life changes, graduating high school, and friendship changes, I was struggling with anxiety, depression, health issues, and spiritual warfare. I don't like talking about this part of my story very much, but it impacts me on a regular basis. I'm often reminded of the preciousness of life and it's been hitting harder as this decade marker approaches. I view many parts of my faith through this lens. Particularly the impact of God's sacrifice on the cross and the gift of His Spirit, and His never-ending love for His children. Without that, I wouldn't be here. I'm aware of that often - especially around Christmas, which is one of the reasons I love the season so much. It's a precious reminder of His rescue plan and that I'm still here because of it. I recently wrote a letter to my 2011 self. Why am I sharing it? I really don't want to. But often times these are the things we keep close to the chest and don't want to share with anyone, when so often what others, including ourselves, need to be reminded of is that they're/we're not alone in this. I'm for sure not the only one who has dark seasons. And I'm for sure not the only one who forgets to put life into perspective during hard times and mental unhealth. It also happens to be National Suicide Prevention Week, so it felt like apt timing. If you ever need to talk to someone about this stuff, reach out to me. Or someone else who you know and love. We have a tendency as broken human beings to forget how much we really matter to people. You matter, friend <3 Dear suicidal self,
Hi. I know why you're feeling the things that you are, and why you believe the things that you do about yourself. It won't change how you feel, but please know that none of those things are true. You are so much stronger than you realize. I know because I've seen what else you'll have to go through. I bear witness to it all. And while darkness consumes you now, there is so much light ahead. Keep hanging on; the best is yet to come. It will take time, and that's okay. You'll have to learn to love yourself and be kind to yourself - that will take years. Just don't give up. If you alter a ship's course by a mere two degrees it will end up in a completely different place than the course it was on. This is true for life. I've seen it. It's hard to see now, but you're not alone. You are FIERCELY loved by the God who created you - He'll show you this in little ways along the way. He is truly good. And He sees you as precious. Since I can't bring you out of this darkness here, let me tell you what awaits you if you don't end it now. Your college years start soon. And while you won't actually go to college, you're about to meet a great group of friends and have the best three years of your life. So much life will be lived, and you will be surrounded by people who care about you. Hang in there. I know your heart aches and you hate your body for not being able to dance anymore. And while dancing as you once did is still lost, you will be able to dance again in the coming years in a new way. It will still cause pain, but it will be manageable, and it will be worth it, and you'll get to be a part of a great dance community and meet friends along the way. Hang in there. I know you feel tired and hopeless in this health struggle you're battling. And while the autoimmune disease and food intolerances will remain, you will come out of this difficult season with healing, better health, and hope. You'll be able to eat far more food than you're able to now - even store bought. You'll even find a place where you can eat donuts, cake, and cinnamon rolls. And you'll be able to eat pizza and ice cream again. Hang in there. I know you feel like a burden to those around you, but you aren't. Yes, the stuff you're carrying is heavy, and you may be depending on others in an unhealthy way to carry it with you. But you'll learn how to manage these things and give them to God instead, and over time you'll learn how to trust and invite people in in a healthy way. You're able to grow and learn in the ways that you desire. Give it time. Hang in there. I know you aren't interested in romance or being in a relationship, and being in a relationship doesn't determine your value, but guess what? God is going to tell you part of your purpose is to be a wife, and He's going to walk with you through some things to get ready for that. You're going to get to some of these lies that you've been believing and work through them, as well as gain a healthier view of relationships. The man you marry isn't what you'd expect - he's more inward, challenges you in ways you're not comfortable with, and doesn't show emotions all that much like you're used to. But that's part of where you come in. You're going to be good for him in ways that he didn't realize. In a way, he needs you. You were created in a way that will help this very special person you will come to love. You have a gifting and a calling that will help him know his, and that is why God has called you to be his wife. Your capacity to love, extend grace, empathize, and call bull**** is what this other human needs to heal and grow and live more fully. It will be hard - there will be lots more lies you'll wrestle with as you figure out life together. But he'll be your best friend. He'll constantly encourage you to take care of yourself and move forward. You'll get to see him in ways no one else does, and it will be a gift. He'll make you laugh, take you on adventures, open up to you, and bear witness to your life. Though he'll seem more stoic when you meet, he's an absolute goofball and has a depth you'll fall in love with. He also gives great massages. And he'll see you at your worst - but guess what? He'll still love you, and he won't leave. Hang in there. This is the hardest part. Your little shadow, Lacey, will pass away. Treasure these next four years with this gift that you will come to realize was given to you in the decade you needed her most. Her sweet companionship and empathy will act as a constant reminder of God's goodness and love and His unending faithfulness. It's going to be hard - harder than any other loss you've experienced. And it will continue to be hard, but one day it will become peacefully normal. And God is faithful - He will provide you with the two best cats you've ever had, each with a few of Lacey's traits that will continuously remind you of God's sweet nature. He'll also, in time, provide you with another dog. Not a replacement, and not a soulmate as Lacey was, for that may never happen again. But he's a good dog that will bring joy and love people well. Hang in there. I know you're in near constant pain and hate your body for not 'being normal'. And unfortunately, you'll continue to struggle with pain for another decade. But you will eventually find hope, and, slowly, you'll begin to be in less pain. You'll get answers to why things got screwed up and why it persists, which will involve counseling and a lot of processing, but there will be healing even in that, and you will get to a point where you can start building muscle tone again. I haven't gotten there yet, but I have hope that with hard work and continued muscle tone, the chronic pain could end, and we could one day dance again. Hang in there. These next ten years will be full of wonderful moments and memories. You'll grow in resilience, joy, humility, patience, forgiveness, and grace. You'll learn to have hard conversations and not allow what others think to dictate truth. Your family will grow, and you will get to be the auntie of the BEST little nieces out there. They'll adore you and ask for you and want you in their lives. There will be a sweet purpose in loving those girls and showing them how loved and precious they are, just as others have done for you. You'll stay up late, but this time not alone. There will be lots of movie nights with friends, spontaneous midnight merry-go-round adventures, and great conversations on the beach under the stars. You will learn to live and experience life. You'll still struggle with some mental health stuff, but it will be manageable, and you'll have more tools and support moving forward. People will come to you because they need someone to listen. People will trust you with their deep shame and insecurities. People will seek you out for insight, and will love to be in your company. They will appreciate your kindness. You don't see it now, but you matter to people. And you will continue to matter. Dear suicidal self: You are loved. It's the end of an election season. What better time to share a post? This election is one that I've followed closer than any other. I've read up on the different candidates, I've had at length conversations with my husband regarding politics, and I've had my opinion formed for a while now. I've held my tongue during this election, not posting anything on social media platforms. But now that the election is over, I'm going to voice what has been on my heart and my mind for a while now. This election made me sick. Not because of the two candidates chosen to represent our country - though, personally, I couldn't rally behind either of them. What made me sick was us as a people. The amount of anger, hatred, shaming, and judgment that was poured out on those who have shared differing opinions made my blood boil. How dare we shame others for having different opinions than us? How dare we judge others for forming different conclusions? And how dare we name-call an entire opposing side due to the actions of their candidate? I'm all for discussion and learning different viewpoints and sides of things, but the blatant hatred that went out towards people of opposing parties is unbelievable to me. And what has saddened my heart most of all is some of my fellow Christian brothers and sisters that have displayed such hatred. And such fear. I'm aware that the changes to this government and our way of life could become disastrous. But have we forgotten the power of our God? He can't be fired by Trump, nor can He be hidden by Hillary. He is all powerful, almighty, and all in control. Have we forgotten how He has worked in the heartache and the trials? I know how fear can govern emotions and actions. I've lived that way the majority of my life, and am still in the process of learning how to live out of that darkness. But this fear seems to be a theme in this election. Part of why I didn't voice my opinion during this election is because of the fear that my voice would be taken away from me by those who have differing opinions. And I fear now that if I say anything condoning Trump's political platform that I'll be labelled a racist or bigot. I can't handle the feeling of having my voice taken away from me. And so it hurt when I saw people voting out of fear; fear of the other candidate. And while I understand the logistics and strategy of voting against the candidate that is least desired, I can't get past the idea that we are voting out of fear rather than conviction. I know that is truly not the case with all, but it is surely for some. I couldn't do that. "I feel a strong desire to tell you–and I expect you feel a strong desire to tell me–which of these two errors is the worse. That is the devil getting at us. He always sends errors into the world in pairs–pairs of opposites. And he always encourages us to spend a lot of time thinking which is the worse. You see why, of course? He relies on your extra dislike of the one error to draw you gradually into the opposite one. But do not let us be fooled. We have to keep our eyes on the goal and go straight between both errors. We have no other concern than that with either of them." - C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
When it's all said and done, God is still God. His reign is never ending. And He is omnipresently in control. So instead of focusing on what's wrong with these candidates and, now, our new president, lets focus our attention on praying for our leaders. And lets take action in prayer and deed to end this hatred and shame among us, starting with ourselves. Again, I overthought this one. I usually take the term 'always' pretty seriously. I can think of many occasions when the things that usually cheer me up have failed, so making a list of things that ALWAYS cheer me up was a list of one thing for a while. I decided to get past the technicality of 'always' and just jot down a list of the things that almost never fail. So with that, here is my list for this week:
• Jesus • My sweet little dog Lacey (who is no longer here) • My husband • Dancing • A good shower • Being creative/working with my hands • Finishing a nice card or scrapbook layout • Listening to Adventures in Odyssey • Good food • Yam fries • Lamb ribs • Scoring awesome deals • Curling up in a big, cozy blanket and being able to just escape and rest • Freshly shaved legs and armpits • Ice cream • Cute little critters • A good movie • A good TV show • Kombucha • Psych All in all, there are probably hundreds of little things that can cheer me up. I'm a pretty simple person, and it's the little things that make my heart happy. But these...these are the things that do it the most for me. Now this is the kind of list that I can get into. I’m a spacial designer; organizing, colors, concepts, patterns, scale, decor, styles. I love it all. You might not be able to tell by the look of my house right now though, but I have plans for this little home of ours. Our home is a three level zero lot line house that was built in 1941. My husband bought it when he moved up here for college 7 years ago, and it has been full of roommates until we got married 7 months ago. I've always wanted to get my hands on this little house and bring it to its full potential. Unfortunately, life is real, and many projects have taken precedent over many of the design and restorative projects. But I'm confident that these things - and more - will get done. Eventually. Anyways, here's my list. Hopefully I’ll make it a little less boring for you by giving you an inside look into our home. • Get clocks for our bedroom, the craft room, the office, and the living room (checked the living room clock off the list this week! Not bad for $3.99) • Frame my gold foil prints in white frames and display them on the wall above my crafting workspace. • Paint the downstairs bathroom and get new cabinet storage • Put in our new light fixtures in the bathrooms • Replace the old curtains from the previous house guest who happened to be an elderly lady with new ones. • Get a new mattress • Get that TV unit from IKEA for our back bedroom wall area • Create a picture gallery to the left of my dresser • Paint the whole basement - be rid of the peach! • Freaking get my DVD collection out of boxes & off the bookshelf that eventually needs to go and put them onto shelving/cabinets on the wall of the therapy space • Create a photo wall in the main stairwell • Find and display wall art for the game room • Get rid of all of the misc. boxes laying around • Keep greenery in the house! So yeah ignore the huge mess that our house is in right now. That's not the norm. Well, our goal is for it not to be the norm. The basement it seems is in a constant state of chaos due to moving in, sorting through, and trying to establish places for everything still. But that will soon hopefully change. There are a billion other things that I have in mind for this place, but we'll just leave it at the list above for now :) Again, this one was harder than I thought it would be. I wrestled with the difference between what I should ignore, and what I should not ignore, but also shouldn't dwell on.
• Lies of not being able/capable • Lies of not being good enough • When people don't use their blinker • The lone ant that walks across the floor (this one is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore...) • The little daily things that I might have done wrong or forgot • The little imperfections in the things that I create or say • Comments that don't matter from people • Different personality traits that bother me And there you have it: the shortest list that you might find on here. I like this one. It's shorter than I thought it would be, but this is another one of those lists that can reveal a lot about a person; what they hold most dear. This is another one that I would love to see from other people, or just sit down and talk with them face-to-face about why and what they treasure most. • My wonderful husband • The memories of my sweet little puppy, Lacey • My parents • My big sister, and our new-ish found relationship • The memories of my dear kitty, Frisky • Our last kitty, Princess (biggest darn eyes you'll ever see) • My blankies • Our stuffed koala, Pookie • My Smash*books (basically creative journal) • Adventures in Odyssey radio drama • Sweet time with Jesus • God's goodness and grace • My stuffed mouse, Gerald • Childhood movies • Dancing, and the ability to do so • Creativity • Kind words • My bird pendant - a constant reminder of God's faithfulness and love • Sweet freedom from sexual abuse • The beautiful growth + healing that God has done in my life • Christmas time • Deep conversations The picture above is a snapshot of my trinkets box. It holds many things that I find special and dear to me, as well as just little bits of the past.
- Some rocks collected on the Oregon coast - Italian charms collected when I was younger (Garfield, Odie, sheltie, Daddy's girl, etc) - A green ribbon charm, for Celiac Disease - A mountain lion bead, because I was obsessed with mountain lions - Some marbles that served as reminders of different things (growth, value, etc) - A time turner charm from Harry Potter world in Orlando, Florida, when my best friend and I went there - A pistachio from some middle school class with the name 'Bob' written on it - A Mountain Dew bottle cap from Thailand from a dear friend - A Boston Terrier pin, because of our sweet little Sweet Pea who was with us for too short a time - A doghouse charm, because of my deep love for my new dog, Lacey - A picture of our first cat, Kaleb - The drum key to my old drum set - One of my mom's old rings - The necklace that my dad gave to my Grandma when he was 13, that my Grandma gave to me when I turned 13 - A trinket that a little Mexican boy gave to me when we built houses in Mexico - My first pilots wings (from 2 years ago) - A piece of my mom's teddy bear collection - Some little charms that remind me of my mom - A shell from the first time I went shooting - My mom's old watch - A keychain locket with a pictures of my sweet pets that I lost this past year, Lacey and Frisky |
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